do it again!
i crave adventures and more company. sometimes my life goes really well. this is one of those times.
make me laugh and this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
get to know me, if you please. i would love to hear from all of you lovely people.
HEY GUYS! BACK SO SOON?
I’M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. I ATE PHIL.
I WAS GOING TO DO THIS WHOLE, “OH, HE RAN AWAY. TURNS OUT HE’S BEEN LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE AND IT FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HIM” THING, BUT THE TRUTH IS HE SAYS “IRREGARDLESS” EVERY TIME WE HAVE SOME SORT OF DEBATE AND I JUST KIND OF SNAPPED.
I’M GOING TO HIT YOU WITH THE DOUBLE SCOOP WAFFLE CONE OF HONESTY THIS EVENING, BECAUSE WE’RE FRIENDS. HE WAS DELICIOUS. HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN INFURIATING ILLITERATE BUT HE MORE THAN MADE UP FOR THAT IN FLAVOR. IT’S GOING TO BE HARD GOING BACK TO DRY KIBBLE.
ANYWAY, HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
IT’S JUST THAT … I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY.
I WANT TO FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY.
OH, I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY.
… WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME, PREFERABLY.
i find this way funnier than i should.
oh well, i’m not sure i care.
CAN WE JUST DROP THE WHOLE CHARADE WHERE WE GIVE EACH OTHER COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SHIT AND PRETEND WE SORT OF DISLIKE EACH OTHER AND JUST ADMIT THAT WE WOULD DIVE INTO EACH OTHER’S PANTS SO HARD AND SO FAST IT WOULD MAKE MATTHEW MITCHAM’S OLYMPIC GOLD LOOK LIKE A LITTLE KID FALLING OFF A WATER SLIDE?
BECAUSE I WOULD TOTALLY HIT THAT.
FRONT, BACK, SIDE TO SIDE.
THE WORKS.
COME ON, MARY. DANCE WITH ME. I PROMISE I WILL BE A PERFECT GENTLEMAN.
KIDDING, OF COURSE. IT’S USHER. I AM GOING TO FREAK YOU SO HARD WE SHOULD PROBABLY GRAB A CONDOM.
I WANT TO MAKE LOOOOOOOVE IN THIS CLUB!
IN THIS CLUB!
IN THIS CLUB!
IN THIS CLUB!
JUST IGNORE HIM, JESSICA. HE’S OBVIOUSLY DRUNK.
PLUS YOU DO HAVE A “BANGIN’ ASS” SO IT’S NOT LIKE HE’S LYING OR ANYTHING. I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING EARLIER BUT I WAS RAISED TO BE A GENTLEMAN.
